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Is your toddler constantly whining and nothing you do seems to help make them stop? Then keep reading because, in this blog post, you’ll find 5 alternatives to “Stop whining” and why they will work. Oh, and I have one more surprisingly simple alternative at the end of this blog post, so bear with me.
We all heard the words “Stop whining” when we were children and I’m sure we all said it at least once to our toddlers, right?
It is a short sentence that slips out so easily and yet has such a big impact.
I know that many of us feel triggered when our little ones whine. My husband does too ;).
Whining can be absolutely annoying and infuriating especially when you can’t find a reason for it.
So it’s no wonder that we sometimes get short-tempered and react in a not-so-mindful way. Especially when we give our best and our toddlers keep whining over seemingly nothing.
Whining is so frustrating
This is frustrating because it seems like your child won’t stop using this voice and you simply don’t know what to do to make them stop.
And then we find ourselves saying things like
“Stop acting like this”
“Stop whining”
“You are not a baby anymore, stop talking like one”
We might even start threatening with punishments like:
“If you don’t stop whining, we’ll go home.”
“You can stay in your room until you’re done whining.”
“We will go without you if you don’t stop whining.”
But why does this happen? Is it because we don’t know what else to do? Or maybe because it feels like we’re failing?
Do we need to be more strict, or less strict?
This guesswork is so frustrating, isn’t it?
Let’s take the guesswork out
Then let’s take the guesswork out and look at what we can do instead because you don’t need any of the above to help your toddler stop whining.
As stressful as whining can be for us it is our toddler’s way of communicating that something isn’t right.
That means the whining isn’t necessarily about the red cup or the candy bar they can’t have.
It’s not about the color of the cup
Most of the time, stress, needs, and frustrations that have built up throughout the day come to the fore and your toddler doesn’t know how to cope.
That’s why they need your help.
And this is where it gets tricky because we need to ignore the whining and focus on the underlying reason.
Once you are focused on the reason for the behavior and when your little one realizes that you understand them, the whining will minimize.
This process takes time and practice but I want to give you 5 alternatives to “Stop whining”, that you can implement today, to help you and your child get through this whining phase.
#1 Alternative to “Stop whining”
“I can hear you really wanted the blue cup.”
By narrating your toddler’s feelings you show them that you understand what they are going through. It also gives your child words for their feelings and, over time, the chance to understand and explain their emotions.
#2 Alternative to “Stop whining”
“It is ok to feel that way.”
You show that all feelings are ok and you can handle them. When we react in anger, it seems to our children, that their emotions are too much for us to handle. But in these situations, young children need us to stay calm and guide them, so they can learn how to express all their feelings.
#3 Alternative to “Stop whining”
“It’s hard for you that you can’t have the blue cup.”
Empathy makes your toddler feel heard, understood, and more willing to compromise.
#4 Alternative to “Stop whining”
“What do you need from me? How can I help you feel better?”
Remember, it’s not about the blue cup. It’s about a need that’s not met. So your child might need a hug, a break…
#5 Alternative to “Stop whining”
“I’m here for you.”
You show your toddler that you can handle their emotions and that you are right there with them. We all can handle hard things a bit easier when we know we don’t have to do it alone.
And you might be surprised how often a simple “Do you need a hug?” will do wonders.
This is the sentence I used most (in combination with “It’s so hard to…”) when my daughter went through her whining phase and it showed me that whining was just as stressful for her as it was for me. Oh, and did these hugs make a difference… They weren’t just what my daughter needed but what I did, too.
Conclusion
Whining can be stressful for you and your child but the way we respond to it is important because it is your toddler’s way of communicating that something isn’t right.
So, next time your child is whining, take a deep breath and use these 5 alternatives to “Stop whining”.
- “I can hear you really wanted …”
- “It is ok to feel that way.”
- “It’s hard for you that you can’t have the blue cup.”
- “What do you need from me? How can I help you feel better?”
- “I’m here for you.”
And remember a simple “Do you need a hug?” might be all your toddler needs at that moment.
Parenting a toddler can be challenging, overwhelming, and stressful. Not knowing why your child is showing certain behaviors and how to respond in these situations is making it even harder.
Let alone all the information that you find on the internet is leaving you with that feeling that there is no way you can do this… But it doesn’t have to be all that hard.
You don’t have to do it all and certainly not all at once. Start with one parenting tool, or one challenging behavior at a time and go from there.
If you want help with that then start with my freebie “End power struggles”, and follow me on Instagram for more toddler parenting tips.
Until then, always remember
You are a wonderful parent and you’ve got this.